I had a huge year this year. Well I always seem to have big years but this one was important because I learned three massive lessons.
A. I have accepted that one cannot be perfect all the time.
B. Part of the reason you make mistakes is that this is one of the most important ways to learn and grow.
C. Where you are right now is because of adversity as well as privilege – without key learning’s and reward you wouldn’t have the knowledge or strength for what you are doing today.
These three lessons interweave and can cause chaos you need to resolve as well as total bliss. Never have I been so confident and poised one day and then acting like a fantail chasing an insect the next as I try to figure out how to solve a strange situational crisis that the day before seemed so innocent.
It seems the more I know the more I find myself against the wall flailing in my attempt to understand a state of affairs. That’s because the questions get bigger and your response needs you to summon up all you have learned in the university called life and answer them.
I think this is why you feel so free when you are a teenager and head past twenty. You are not so concerned about cocking things up because you give yourself some slack and really believe things will make more sense, as you get older.
You believe you will be as together as other adults or like your parents and then when you get to the age (say 40) you thought your parents were on to it - it’s a bit of a disappointment when you figure out they were just as confused an unaccustomed to knowing it all as you are.
The thing is you never know everything all of the time. You can know a lot about a given topic or subject but there is always going to be someone that knows more or you are going to have to consult with or get advice from.
With relationships you will never really know what is going on in another person’s head because it’s not your head. You cannot control any head except your own. That’s when you realise the only person who has any power or control over how you react to a situation - is you.
But I do have some good news about all of this.
Once you realise that nothing necessarily goes the way you are thinking it might or where – you do always seem to get to where you are going with what you know in the end. As you grow you learn to sit back and relax a little, take each day in its stride. Knowing it’s not going to be perfect all the time is a great relief.
In the end it certainly is about the journey and along they way you will learn that life is a journey that doesn’t end until it really does end, i.e. it’s time to leave the mortal coil. You will reach many interesting destinations and even stay put for awhile but you will always be moved along somehow – it’s just the baggage gets lighter and practise makes imperfect somehow perfectly imperfect.